Swearing in and moving to site!

Swearing in was a wonderful celebration and as overwhelming and exciting as I could have imagined. It was at the ambassador’s house which was very fancy and filled with amazing art. The ambassador, our country director, a representative from the Ugandan Ministry of Education, and then 3 of our cohort members all gave very wonderful speeches. Obviously tears were shed. This moment has been a long time coming and it was really powerful to realize it was finally happening. I know the next two years will be harder and more wonderful than I could ever imagine so for now I am just so thankful for all of the incredible people I’ve met, friends I’ve made, and opportunity I’ve been given. I am even more thankful for my friends and for my amazing family at home who have all been so encouraging and supportive. I know I did not get here on my own and I will never be able to adequately describe my gratitude with words.

So now I’m at my site! I have been here for exactly one week and it has been a ride. We left the day after swearing in so that was really overwhelming and emotional and then taking public transport with all of my luggage was a hilarious joke but I made it one piece! The taxi dropped me off in the big city close to my site called Masaka. In Masaka I met up with my supervisor and with a man named Dennis who has a car and who many Peace Corps Volunteers in the area use as a private hire. Dennis was wonderful and drove me around Masaka to buy my mattress and stove and other essentials. Then we drove the 40 minutes to Kabukunge.

The front of my house. Inside pictures to come

When I arrived at my site, my school provided me with a very nice bed so I spent Friday just settling in. Across the next couple of days I kept myself way too busy running back and forth to Masaka and then also to the closest town named Kalungu, which is about a 30 minute walk or 10 minute taxi ride. I know that nesting is important for my mental health while I am here but it is very difficult to nest when there isn’t a Walmart or Ikea down the road. So that was adjustment number one. So at the moment I have my bed and the school has given me some extra desks to put my stove on. I bought some plastic shelves and I am waiting for a carpenter to build some wood shelves for me.  I bought some fabric in Masaka and crafted my own curtains so I am getting settled in slowly but surely. I want to paint my house but paint is expensive and I know it will not be as easy a process as painting in America so I am taking a deep breath and just trying to slow down. I am telling myself that it’s okay that my house is not perfect, it is still home and I can still be happy.

So after my first few crazy days then I gave myself some time to slow down. The boyfriend of my site mate, Cody, showed me an awesome running path around the village that is about 2.5 miles so I’ve been doing that every day. It is a wonderful path that is very rural and safe and I’ve been introducing and saying hi to all of the people I pass. This place really is so beautiful and I promise to post all kinds of pictures once I feel comfortable bringing a camera with me.

My neighbor, Juliet, who is the wife of Okello, has been incredible and making me food and watching movies with me and helping me wash my house and my clothes. So while this place is wonderful and beautiful I am still hitting what I’ll call my second hard spot. My homesickness around the holidays was brief because once language training started again I could focus on other things. Being at site, things finally feel very real. The gravity of the fact that I moved across the world to Uganda has finally hit and I miss my family and my friends from America and peace corps so much. I’m very thankful Peace Corps held our hands across the past two months but now I know it is time to get out of the nest and they did it with a swift push. I went from seeing my cohort members everyday for 2 months to being on my own (my site mate has been away for training so I also know things will be different when she returns).

Juliet with her children Osped and Priscilla

it was Priscillas second birthday a few days ago so i made a no bake cake!

 I have always had a hard time transitioning places and I was terribly homesick my whole first year of college. My pattern usually goes that I wake up panicky but once I get up, get moving, and start doing things I shake off the panic and calm down. That has been the case this past week as I run errands and clean and then I walk up the hill to a primo sunset watching spot and remind myself that it is really awesome that I am here and that these next two years will be hard but they will be incredible and at the end I will love every minute, difficult and enjoyable, of this experience. My yoga instructor life inspiration Jessica Nason told me to “not waste an ounce” of this experience and I’m realizing that this hard transition is part of this experience.

So school starts on Monday and I am apprehensive about that as well. More than anything I am worried about if I will like my job or not. I worry that I will not really find my place at the school and worry that I won’t be successful. Then I read a quote yesterday that said, “Worrying is your brain imagining bad things. Make your brain imagine good things.” So yes, this quote is a little obvious but it definitely resonated with me. I’ve always been a worrier and even across these past two months, in one moment I will be thinking of what bad things can happen and then the next I’m beyond excited for all of the incredible things that are going to happen across the next two years. So in reality, I am just sitting in anticipation, which is excruciating. I know things will fall into place and I will find a routine and find my place and that I will find fulfillment but for now I am just waiting and so of course my brain is going to kick up into overdrive. So I’ve been trying to remind myself of that and enjoy the things in front of me like my runs, and the sunset, and finally having time to watch Gilmore Girls again after 2 months without.

So other interesting adjustments- creating understanding with the Ugandans I will be living with for the next two years. I live in the same row as the other primary school teachers. All of the ones that I have met grew up in a village which means poverty and limited education. Since Alaina, my site mate, has been here for a year, most of the teachers have a basic understanding of why I’m here and what I will do but I have still been asked many times “Why did you leave America when life there is so easy and wonderful?” That is a great question especially since I am struggling with the answer at the moment. So I tell them that I am very thankful for my life in America but I wanted to live in Uganda to help where I can and to learn about other people. The answer becomes that much more difficult because I do not want them to get the impression that I will be coming in to save, fix, and change everything. They have also seen all of the things I have bought for my house so I also do not want them to think that I have or will be giving money. So I have been saying that Peace Corps wants me to come in and help to teach and show ways that the school can improve and that hopefully one day the school improves so much that they no longer need peace corps volunteers to help. I know this understanding will grow but for now it is a little uncomfortable

So to summarize, training was wonderful and like summer camp but I knew this transition was coming. But I operate off the moto (also from the fabulous Jess Nason) that “this is hard, this is me growing.” I know my discomfort at the moment is coming from the challenges that are pushing me. I also know that I am capable and competent and I will grow. I know the hard times are inevitable and all I have to do every day is show up to world and say “here I am. Here is the best I can give today.” And so some days I might be sad or frustrated and but that many other days, like so many I’ve already had, I will be motivated and excited. Sometimes, like right now, two years feels like forever, but others I know the two years will feel like a blink of an eye. I know this place will become home. It is daunting but I know this is where I’m supposed to be.